I'll Fix You
by theworldstillspins
Summary: "I can't do it anymore, Rose. You can't keep running to me every time you get hurt. Can't you see? I'm hurt, too. You don't see me coming to you. I love you... B-but I guess you don't even care." Cousincest oneshot.


Rose Weasley. She's my cousin and I love her. I love everything about her. Her red hair, her brown eyes, just her. She's everything I want yet everything I can't have. No matter how hard I try I just can't have her. Every time she's broke I'm there to pick up the pieces even though in the process I know I'll get hurt, too. It hurts to see her happy with someone else. It hurts to see her with someone who isn't me. I have to smile every time they touch or hold hands. I have to pretend I'm not dying inside every time her lips touch someone else's.

Sometimes I wonder if it was just a coincidence when she was given the name Rose. Roses are beautiful yet when you begin to love them they hurt you all the same. But me, I'm willing to go through the hurt for her. I'm willing to feel the pain of every thorn she has just to have her love me the way I love her. And I don't care if it's forbidden and wrong because no one truly knows how I feel. No one knows what my heart's desire is. They don't know how many times I've fixed her for someone else. I guess I simply can't have everything I want.

That's why when she once again appeared into my room with tears running down her face; I didn't rush over to her. I turned away. I wouldn't let myself fall for the same trick over and over again. I didn't hold my arms out to hold her, I didn't even look at her because I knew I wouldn't be able to resist. I couldn't help but fix her every time she came to me in pieces because secretly I always hope that she'll see that all she needs is me. All she needed was me, the one right in front of her, the one who always saw her at her lowest times.

"Albus." She whined and I heard her footsteps come closer to me. Every step made my heart beat faster but break at the same time. I couldn't leave her in pieces. "It happened again. I keep getting hurt. Why doesn't anyone stick around? Why doesn't anyone love me enough to stay? Hold me, Al. I need you." The last words she spoke were in a whisper. Almost as if it were something dirty to say. Something that was so wrong that she didn't want anyone else to hear. It was enough to make me look at her.

"No." Simple as that yet harsh enough to make even myself flinch. What was I saying? I wanted her, I needed her.

"Why?"

Turning away from her I looked at the wall because anything was better than looking at her. Anything was better than watching her face as I broke her, too. Who would fix her now? Who would make her see that there was better in the world? Not me because I'm the best for her.

"I can't do it anymore, Rose. You can't keep running to me every time you get hurt. Can't you see? I'm hurt, too. You don't see me coming to you. I love you… B-but I guess you don't even care."

I felt the bed sank in as she sat down beside me and before I could even try to move away I felt her arms embrace me. I felt her arms hold me tight as I did for her so many times before. For once she was trying to make me feel better. And I thought it was just a hug at first but then I felt her lips pressing to my neck. They were soft but I could tell she was hesitating when she didn't have to because I wanted this. I wanted to show her just how much I loved her.

"Stop." Before I could even think the words were out of my mouth. It's funny how when you seem to be getting something that you've wanted for so long it just doesn't feel right.

"Albus… I love you, too." I heard her say as her hand creeped up my shirt and stopped on my chest right over my heart.

"We shouldn't."

"But you said you loved me. Show me how much you do. Show me what true love is Al."

And when I turn I see her eyes searching mine. Looking for a reason for me to say it was okay. But it wasn't. We were cousins and to hell if I cared but Rose. I didn't know what she was thinking. I didn't know if she was only saying these things because she wanted me to help her. I didn't know anything and when she pulled my face down to hers I didn't stop her. I let her kiss me. It was only kiss after all. Nothing more, nothing less. Just kissing her once was enough for me. Feeling her lips against mine were enough to fix me. Enough to make me happy.

It was enough to make me get caught up in the moment. Enough to make me reach for the buttons on her shirt and slowly undo them as I looked into her eyes. And I knew later that I would feel bad because I was taking advantage of her even if she didn't protest. But it was perfect as every piece of clothing we wore was shed slowly and inbetween kisses. And as we found our rhythm I was in heaven. I never wanted it to end, I wanted her for my own. Every moan that fell from her mouth was like a bandage to every hole in my heart. For once I wasn't just picking up her pieces, she was picking up mine too. It didn't matter that we were cousins. She was mine and I was hers like it should have always been. Although when I went to hold her after she got dressed and left. I was too stupid to know that this would never happen again.

And days and months after our encounter she never came to see me again. How stupid of me to hold on to the idea that she was just too busy because even when she saw me she didn't dare speak to me besides casual greetings. Day after day I kept waiting for her to come back to me crying or not. I just wanted to love her again, to show her how much she meant to me. But when she actually did come back she went to my brother instead and that's when I realized that we were done. She didn't love me like she'd said before. That was a lie.

She was Rose Weasley and this time I was the broken one.


End file.
